feeling emotional discombobulated

Aaaahhhh, this morning I am craving a Dutch Bros. Mocha. This is no different from any other day except that I am going to drink it and contemplate my current situation, instead of drinking it while I drive frantically from one spot to another. I feel like I have been floating through my life for the last couple months. I need something to make me feel like I am not so dependent on everyone in my life. I need a job. School is not enough for me to feel like a self-sustaining person. (I wonder why...) I need to move out of my mother's home, and I need to feel established in one of my own. Having said all of the above, I am lost as to how to do all the above and follow the direction that I want to go in my life. Needless to say, I am confused today.
But oddly happy and fine with that.